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Career Uprising and We Care Management often support individuals in Mid-life career crisis. Lorraine Rise, Owner of Career Uprising, wrote us a great article to share with you about this important topic. You hear a lot about the mid-life crisis. When you reach the midpoint of any journey, it’s natural to feel some restless and […]
Career Uprising and We Care Management often support individuals in Mid-life career crisis. Lorraine Rise, Owner of Career Uprising, wrote us a great article to share with you about this important topic.
You hear a lot about the mid-life crisis. When you reach the midpoint of any journey, it’s natural to feel some restless and to want to re-evaluate your progress. Is this direction still working for me? Do I have different priorities now than I did when I was younger?
These feeling of uncertainty extend to our careers as well, resulting in a mid-career crisis for many in their 40s and 50s. As a career coach, I work extensively with mid and late career professionals and this is a common concern.
Reality often sets in that you’re not 25 anymore, but your competition is. You’re not early career, but you’re not ready to retire either. Where does that leave you? You still need to be seen as relevant and competitive, but you don’t know how to do that. Or, maybe you don’t even know what you want to do with your career anymore.
For some, they wake up one day at 45 and realize that the career they’ve been in for the last 20 years may not have ever been right for them. If this sounds familiar, then this article will be therapy for you.
First, let’s define a mid-career in case you don’t know if that applies to you. Generally, if you are in your late thirties and definitely in your forties, with about 15-20 years of work experience, then you are probably mid-career. I generally start to consider people late career when they hit 50. But of course, age is just a number, right?
This is the time in people’s careers where they start to worry about two things:
Once people hit that magical age of 50, or even start approaching it, they start to worry about their ability to get a new job contributing even more to their stress and sense of “crisis”.
Let’s tackle the first concern really quick. It’s very normal and even necessary, I believe, to pause and take stock of where you are at when you reach the midpoint of anything. It’s a little progress check. I would encourage you to do this at any point in your career, but definitely when you feel you are at a crossroads or a midpoint. What you want to ask yourself here are some of the following questions:
Am I still happy doing what I’m doing?
Have my priorities in my career changed in the last few years?
What matters most to me right now? Money? Job satisfaction? Growth potential? Location?
Does making a change feel right—right now?
And don’t worry about the “how” with this question. You don’t have to know how you are going to do something when you start out. All you need to know is if you want to do it.
If you ask yourself these questions and give yourself honest answers, you’ll gain clarity on whether or not you should make a career change at this point. Your intuition is going to be of utmost importance here. And the good news is the older we get, the wiser and more aware of our intuition we tend to be. So, trust yourself here. I would highly encourage you to write out your thoughts and responses here. Get it out of your brain and onto paper.
The second big concern that people start to have around the mid-career point is ageism. The older we get, the more we worry about competing against younger job seekers and overcoming biases. Here’s what we know about discrimination. Yes, it does exist the job market unfortunately. How much it really exists is very difficult to measure. Discrimination of any kind is inherently very difficult to quantify or prove.
But here’s one advantage that older job seekers actually have over younger folks. The older you are the larger your professional network usually is, and you should absolutely leverage that as much as possible. Relying on your network for information and referrals is going to be key in getting you through a job search or career transition at this stage.
The bottom line is this: The mid-career point doesn’t have to be a rut. Use this time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished so far and celebrate that. Resist the urge to have the word “should” in your self-talk.
“I should be further along than I am.”
“I should be making XXX amount of money by now.”
The word “should” is essentially a regret and judgment on yourself which does nothing to help your cause. It will only leave you feeling inadequate. Once you’ve reflected on your past, make a plan for the future.
Where you do want to go next?
What goals are still left to accomplish?
How can you take even baby steps towards those things?
Lorraine Rise is the owner of Career UpRising, LLC which supports mid and late career professionals with job searching and career transitions. She can be reached at www.careeruprising.com
How many times do we hear about senior citizens who move cross-country to be closer to children and grandchildren? Maybe this person will see their family on a daily or weekly basis. But then again, maybe it won’t be that often, and now they’ve given up their social life and are far away from friends. […]
How many times do we hear about senior citizens who move cross-country to be closer to children and grandchildren? Maybe this person will see their family on a daily or weekly basis. But then again, maybe it won’t be that often, and now they’ve given up their social life and are far away from friends.
As an older person, what’s healthier, being around family or being around friends?
There was a time when most people would have quickly answered, “Being around family, of course.” While no two people are alike, there is evidence that meaningful connection with friends has more of an impact on the aging process.
According to a 2017 study sponsored by the National Institute on Aging, friendship is more important to the health and well-being of senior citizens than familial connections.
The study found that not only do these relationships influence your happiness and habits (whether you’ll smoke or drink, work out, stay thin or become obese) but that the importance of friendship increases with age.
But there is a caveat, and it’s an important one.
The impact of friendship works positively and negatively. Meaning, just as good friendships offer health benefits, friendships that are not so great or even toxic are tied to chronic health problems. The key is to keep friendships in good order, which means you may need to repair or replace friendships as you age.
Another study, this one designed by Michigan State University psychology professor William J. Chopik, looked at two sets of data—one drawn from people around the world at different ages, and another from older Americans.
More than 270,000 volunteers between the ages of 15 to 99 and from roughly 100 different countries answered questions about how highly they valued different kinds of relationships and how happy they were. Instead of tracking the same people over time, the study tracked “representative” groups of different ages at intervals over the years.
The results?
Those people 65 and older valued friendship more than they did when they were younger!
In another analysis, researchers examined data from close to 7,500 American volunteers in their sixties and seventies. The results found that those people who experienced a “strain” within their friendships were more likely to suffer from chronic illnesses like diabetes, heart disease and psychiatric problems. This was true regardless of whether they had support from family members or not. Strain with family, surprisingly, wasn’t tied to more illness.
The moral of the story is, many of us take our friendships for granted. We think these relationships should be easy, and that our familial relationships are where we should focus our time and energy. But the older we get, the more important it becomes to have strong friendships. When our friendships are happy and healthy, we’re happy and healthy.
Is there a relationship in your life that is bringing you down instead of up? Are you unsure how to communicate with your loved one? Maybe it’s time to end a relationship but you don’t know the best way to do it.
Often, speaking with a therapist can give you clarity over a situation. A therapist can lend an impartial ear and offer advice based not on emotion, but on knowledge of human behavior.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
If you find yourself struggling to fall or stay asleep, you’re not alone. Insomnia, the chronic inability to get sufficient sleep, is a common problem affecting millions of Americans. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2014 study, more than a third of Americans aren’t getting enough sleep on a daily basis. With […]
If you find yourself struggling to fall or stay asleep, you’re not alone. Insomnia, the chronic inability to get sufficient sleep, is a common problem affecting millions of Americans. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2014 study, more than a third of Americans aren’t getting enough sleep on a daily basis.
With a lack of sleep at the root of serious medical conditions like obesity, high blood pressure and heart disease, getting a decent amount of sleep on a regular basis is crucial to a long and healthy life. Here are five things you can do to change your routine and start getting to, and staying, asleep.
1. Just Two Things in Bed
Make sure that your bed is used only for two things: sex and sleep. By using your bed almost exclusively for sleep, your body will associate your bed with rest and relaxation, making it easier to fall asleep.
2. Exercise Regularly
Getting regular exercise (the recommended thirty minutes a day, five days a week) will help you promote healthy sleep habits. Your post-exercise temperature may promote falling asleep, and exercise in general will help eliminate insomnia by decreasing arousal and anxiety.
3. Naps, Caffeine, & Alcohol
Short naps are helpful for some, but for others it impacts their ability to fall asleep. If you’re struggling with insomnia, avoid naps during the day. Caffeine, a known stimulant, may keep you up longer than you’re aware. You may need to avoid caffeine entirely if it prevents you from falling asleep. And, while alcohol is a sedative, it can disrupt your sleep; so if you have trouble staying asleep, avoid alcohol.
4. No Screens Before Bedtime
Screen time, such as computers, smart phones and television, prevent you from falling asleep due to cognitive stimulation. Too much light at bedtime affects your melatonin production, giving your body the impression that its staying awake, not ready for sleep. Help your body get ready for sleep by eliminating screen time at least two hours before bed.
5. Create a Nighttime Routine
Creating a regular nighttime routine will help your body get into the habit of winding down and relaxing as it prepares for sleep. Create a nighttime routine an hour or two before bed. Maybe have a glass of warm milk, brush your teeth, change into your pajamas and read a book every night before bed. Make sure you go to bed around the same time every night too, including weekends.
Changing old habits and establishing a new routine is never easy. But as you make changes and sustain new practices, it will get easier. Before long you’ll have a new set of healthy habits, and you can finally settle in for a good night’s sleep.
Are you struggling with insomnia and need help maintaining healthy sleep habits? A licensed professional can help. Call my office today and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.
Did you know that on most days, the average person has between 25,000 and 50,000 thoughts? That’s an impressive amount of thoughts. But when happens when the majority of these thoughts are negative? Imagine the impact on your psyche and your life if you had thousands and thousands of negative thoughts each day? This amount of negative […]
Did you know that on most days, the average person has between 25,000 and 50,000 thoughts? That’s an impressive amount of thoughts.
But when happens when the majority of these thoughts are negative? Imagine the impact on your psyche and your life if you had thousands and thousands of negative thoughts each day?
This amount of negative thinking is a hallmark of depression. Negative or pessimistic thinking is depression speaking for you. It is the voice of depression. What many people don’t realize is that depression is manifested in negative thinking before it ever creates a negative thought itself.
This is why it is imperative for those suffering from depression to become acutely aware of their thought patterns. If not checked, negative thinking becomes a habit, one that has the potential to completely shape your life.
Change How You Think
One of the most powerful ways people can lift themselves out of the darkness of depression is to change their thinking patterns. This is why cognitive therapy is such a profound change agent. The approach is based on the fact that thought-processing errors contribute to a depressed mood.
By changing how you think, you automatically change how you feel. Once you become aware that changing your thinking is important, you are presented with an active choice you can take to benefit your mental health.
I know. This sounds about as easy as changing a tire in the rain with nothing more than a hardboiled egg and a paper clip. But it can be done.
Here are some tips on how you can begin to change your negative thoughts:
Keep Track of Your Thoughts
Many people are in denial about their thought patterns. They don’t want to believe they are overly negative or pessimistic. Catching yourself and recording as many negative thoughts as you can will help you to see your own mental patterns.
What will these thoughts look like? You could write things like, “I hate my feet.” “My boss is an idiot.” “I hate spring.” “I hate getting up this early.” “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Be particularly mindful of making sweeping generalizations from one specific event. It’s a type of black and white thinking that can be particularly harmful.
Identify Triggers
Once you get an idea for the frequency of your negative thoughts, try and pinpoint the triggers for them. Your journal will also come in handy here, because it will point out certain types of events that set off a chain of negative thoughts. Triggers can include being rejected or ignored, or having an unkind remark said about or to you.
Positive Conversion
You have so far learned that the human thinking process is habitual. But the good news is, you can create good thinking habits.
To do this you’ve got to start converting all of those negative thoughts into positive ones. It will be hard at first, and you will most likely feel as if you’re lying to yourself and pretending to be a glass-half-full Pollyanna.
But, as they say, “You’ve got to fake it until you make it.” Though thinking positively may feel foreign to you and like a waste of your time, you are re-training your brain to think (and feel) good.
Every time you have a negative thought, stop, recognize it as negative, and immediately flip the switch and create the positive opposite thought in its place. This could look like:
Negative thought: “I’ll never get this report done on time.”
Positive Switch: “I’m making great progress and being careful to always check my work.”
To get the hang of how to do this, go through your negativity journal and create a separate column in which you will write the positive opposites of your many negative thoughts.
If you feel too dark and down to complete these exercises, please consider reaching out to a trained therapist who can prescribe medication, should you require it, and help you work through these struggles.
If you or a loved one are suffering from depression and are interested in exploring treatment options, please contact me. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
As our parents age, we want to treasure them for as long as we can, so we look for ways to help them stay healthy and active. But many older people suffer from depression, a condition that is not always easy to battle. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, depression affects more than 6.5 […]
As our parents age, we want to treasure them for as long as we can, so we look for ways to help them stay healthy and active. But many older people suffer from depression, a condition that is not always easy to battle.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, depression affects more than 6.5 million of the 35 million Americans aged 65 or older. Some have experienced episodes of depression throughout their life, while others may experience the first onset later in life, even well into their 80s and 90s.
What Causes Depression in Older People?
As mentioned, preexisting depression often leads to episodes later in life, particularly if the person has never been officially diagnosed or treated. Individuals with a history of anxiety often become more fearful as they age as well. As a result, they often isolate themselves, rarely participating in social activities, which, in turn, leads to depression.
Some older people have difficulty reviewing their lives. They may not feel proud of the life they’ve led and may get stuck dwelling on the more negative aspects. Perhaps they feel they did not accomplish enough, or they harbor resentment toward an old friend.
And of course, older people have to not only deal with declining abilities but also the loss of loved ones. A unique reality of aging is that your friends start to die, one by one. It is not uncommon for older people to go to several funerals in a single year.
How You Can Help
The very best thing you can do for your parent who you think may be suffering from depression is to offer your love and support. Let them know that you are there for them and happy to help with whatever they may need.
Having said this, it is equally important that you respect their needs for independence. Don’t try to take control of their life and act as if you know what’s best.
Also, consider visiting a therapist who can help your parent work through any unresolved issues and offer management strategies. A professional mental health professional can assess your parent to see if they are a good candidate for medication. Sometimes medication can help, other times, it can impair cognitive function. A therapist will know the right approach to take.
If you or someone you know has been watching their aging parent become more and more depressed, please get in touch with me. Let’s discuss treatment options and see how I may be able to help.
Winter blues and depression are a common occurrence this time of year. Especially this year with the frigid temperatures and snow that keeps us inside. With the warmer weather coming over the next couple of days, make sure you and your loved ones find a way to spend some time out in the fresh air […]
Winter blues and depression are a common occurrence this time of year. Especially this year with the frigid temperatures and snow that keeps us inside. With the warmer weather coming over the next couple of days, make sure you and your loved ones find a way to spend some time out in the fresh air and sunlight. Research shows that being outside and soaking in the rays of sunlight improve your mood and decrease stress. Whether you take a walk in your neighborhood or at a park, ride a bike, or even just find a comfortable seat outside, you will find a sense of peace and joy in that moment. However, it’s not only in the moment, that feeling you get will make biological changes in your body that will improve your overall well-being and mood for days, maybe even weeks or more. It’s the simple things in life that make it greater, so take advantage of them!
Our Care Managers are members of the Aging Life Care Association which ensures the members are credentialed to be able to provide aging services at an expert level. The Aging Life Care Association is now sponsoring this twice a week radio cast called Aging Matters. It will discuss important topics and new updates related to […]
Our Care Managers are members of the Aging Life Care Association which ensures the members are credentialed to be able to provide aging services at an expert level. The Aging Life Care Association is now sponsoring this twice a week radio cast called Aging Matters. It will discuss important topics and new updates related to the field of elder care. We recommend following this radio cast and listen to it on your way to work or during your lunch. You can find it here at https://m.mixcloud.com/AgingMatters/.
Here are some helpful tips for ways of boosting your mood! This reinforces what we tell people all the time, that by balancing eating healthy foods with exercise, water, smiles and laughter brings a life of wellness. Image from Food Is Medicine
Here are some helpful tips for ways of boosting your mood! This reinforces what we tell people all the time, that by balancing eating healthy foods with exercise, water, smiles and laughter brings a life of wellness.
Image from Food Is Medicine
Do you have an elder in your life that you sometimes worry about? If you do, then you know how difficult it can be supporting them in accepting senior care, coordinating it, and overseeing the care. Do you know that Care Managers help with all of this? Aging Life Care Managers are trained professionals who […]
Do you have an elder in your life that you sometimes worry about? If you do, then you know how difficult it can be supporting them in accepting senior care, coordinating it, and overseeing the care. Do you know that Care Managers help with all of this? Aging Life Care Managers are trained professionals who are governed by an association called The Aging Life Care Association. Our staff are Advanced Professionals in this association because we have the highest credentials for our field, showing we are experts. We Care Management, LLC will work with you to support the elder in your life. There is an additional benefit to the services We Care Management, LLC offers. We provide licensed counseling services and help you find ways of relieving your emotional distress and overall stress! For adult children who live far away from their parents, we provide Teletherapy counseling via a secure video chat. Let us support you in supporting the elder in your life!
Does the unkown make you nervous or maybe make you feel anxious? This is a common response to feeling that you don’t know what will happen in the future, because you don’t have a sense of having control over the situation. As therapists, we often encourage people to develop coping skills to help them stay […]
Does the unkown make you nervous or maybe make you feel anxious? This is a common response to feeling that you don’t know what will happen in the future, because you don’t have a sense of having control over the situation. As therapists, we often encourage people to develop coping skills to help them stay in the present moment, because what is the sense in worrying about something that may happen in the future when it may never happen? Here’s another approach, think of the unknown as adding spice to life. If we didn’t have suspense or spice, we wouldn’t have the greater appreciation for the many flavors of life.
