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How many mornings have you shut off that alarm, wishing you could just work from home in your PJs? Well now many of us are getting our wish thanks to COVID-19. While in theory working from home may seem ideal, the reality for many of us is that it’s, well, kind of a pain. Particularly […]
How many mornings have you shut off that alarm, wishing you could just work from home in your PJs? Well now many of us are getting our wish thanks to COVID-19.
While in theory working from home may seem ideal, the reality for many of us is that it’s, well, kind of a pain. Particularly if you have young children home from school that you now have to teach while still keeping productive at work.
The fact is, this sudden and unexpected disruption to our daily lives has many of us feeling stressed!
Here are some ways you can cope with working from home for the unforeseeable future.
If you don’t have a dedicated home office, you’ll want to figure something out ASAP. Having the right space at home will help you focus on the tasks at hand. It will also automatically set boundaries with family.
Do you have a spare room you can use? Is there an area in your finished basement that could work? If not, clear off the dining table and set up there.
You may want to treat the next 2-3 weeks as a sort of family vacation, but it’s best if you and the kids stick to your regular routines. That means getting up and going to bed at the same time, showering, getting dressed and having breakfast as you normally would. Straying from routine will demotivate you to complete the work that needs to get done.
While it’s important to keep to your routines, that doesn’t mean you can’t take advantage of having more time on your hands. Instead of spending an hour plus on a commute each day, you could use that time to catch up on home projects that have been on your to-do list for a while. You can also use the added time to reconnect with your family.
Kids need structure, so give them some each day. This could mean giving them three options of how they will spend the afternoon: playing with Legos in the living room, watching a movie or quiet reading in their bedrooms. Be sure to take a break from work every couple of hours to check in with your kids to answer any questions they may have. Lord knows they ALWAYS have some!
On those days when you have to conduct many meetings and get much done, consider reaching out to family and friends to arrange virtual playdates with the kids. Thanks to Skype and FaceTime, your virtual babysitters can read, play games and interact with your kids online while you get some important work done.
If you find you are getting a bit squirrelly, even after following these tips, you can always reach out to a mental healthcare provider who can give you some more ideas of how to manage the stress.
If you’d like to speak to someone, please reach out to me. At this time, I am able to conduct sessions via phone or Skype, so you don’t even have to leave your home if your state is on lockdown.
SOURCES:
If you’re like most people, you are doing your best to stay calm during COVID-19 pandemic. But that can feel incredibly difficult at times. When not worrying about friends and loved one’s health, there’s also the conflicting information provided by the media and the economic ramifications of the virus that have people on edge. Signs […]
If you’re like most people, you are doing your best to stay calm during COVID-19 pandemic. But that can feel incredibly difficult at times. When not worrying about friends and loved one’s health, there’s also the conflicting information provided by the media and the economic ramifications of the virus that have people on edge.
Everyone reacts differently to stressful situations, but most will exhibit some of the following signs:
If you are experiencing significant stress right now, here are some ways you can cope:
Hearing the media constantly spread panic isn’t good for anyone. It’s important to stay rational and do your own research to uncover facts from fiction as well as stay positive.
Be sure to get outside for some fresh air and go for a walk. Eat right and make sure to stay hydrated and get plenty of sleep. Avoid consuming too much alcohol and try and find fun ways to reconnect with your family.
If you have kids, look to them for some good old-fashioned playtime. Play hide and seek in the house. Create an obstacle course in the back yard. Watch some of your favorite funny movies. Laughter really is the best medicine so get plenty of it!
Many local businesses are hurting right now. If you’re still getting a paycheck, consider buying a gift card from a local restaurant, gym, hair salon, etc. to give them revenue now and you can use the card later. This will make you feel great at the same time.
Remember, your kids will ALWAYS look to you first to see how they should be thinking and feeling about something. So move about each day calmly and confidently and reassure your kids everything will be okay because it will be.
For many of us, there is a silver lining in this situation in the form of extra time. What can you do with the extra time that isn’t being used to drive an hour or more each day in commuting? Focus on using this time wisely. Maybe you have an ever-growing list of home projects that you just never have time to tackle. Tackle them now, you’ll feel great about it later.
If you find yourself becoming too stressed or depressed during this time, I encourage you to connect with me. Speaking with a therapist can help you cope with the situation and navigate the days ahead. I am currently able to conduct sessions over the phone or via Skype, so you won’t even have to leave your home if your state is in lockdown.
SOURCES:
https://www.ucihealth.org/news/2020/03/covid-19-anxiety
https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/ep/behavioral/stress_covid19.pdf
Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in relationships, romantic and otherwise, with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to have their needs met regardless of the other person’s. These people most likely grew up […]
Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in relationships, romantic and otherwise, with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to have their needs met regardless of the other person’s. These people most likely grew up in households that were unsafe and unstable, and where there was a constant invasion of personal boundaries.
If you can relate, chances are you have a hard time creating healthy boundaries to create the life experience you wish to have. Here are some ways you can begin to do so:
You can’t set boundaries unless you discover where it is you personally stand. You’ll need to take a bit of time to recognize what you can and cannot tolerate. What makes you happy and what makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed? Only until you have made these discoveries can you move on to the next steps.
People who have similar communication styles are easy to engage with. These people will quickly understand what your new barriers are. But people who have a different cultural background or personality may not easily understand your boundaries. With these people, it’s important to be very clear and direct.
People who have a hard time setting boundaries don’t often allow themselves to acknowledge their own feelings because they’re usually too busy worrying about everyone else’s.
You’ll need to start recognizing how people make you feel in order to know whether your new boundaries are being crossed or not. When you’re with someone, make mental notes, or even jot down in a journal how that interaction made you feel.
If, after spending time with someone, you feel anger or resentment, this is a sign that the person may be overstepping your boundaries. Reiterate to this person what your boundaries are. If they continue to disrespect you and them, you will want to cut yourself away from further interactions.
Put yourself and your needs first. This may feel strange and even somehow wrong if you’ve spent your entire life taking care of others. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings and get what you need to feel happy and well.
If you’ve spent an entire life with a sense of low self-worth, you may find setting boundaries quite difficult. In this case, it’s important to speak with a therapist that can help you discover where these feelings are coming from and how to change your thought patterns and behavior.
If you’d like to explore therapy, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey toward self-care.
A while back there was a very funny television show starring Lisa Kudrow (ditzy Phoebe from Friends) called “Web Therapy.” It was an improvised show and Lisa played a therapist who treated her patients over the Internet. Hence the title of the show. Well, back when the show was on, the idea of treating mental […]
A while back there was a very funny television show starring Lisa Kudrow (ditzy Phoebe from Friends) called “Web Therapy.” It was an improvised show and Lisa played a therapist who treated her patients over the Internet. Hence the title of the show.
Well, back when the show was on, the idea of treating mental health patients via a webcam seemed ludicrous. And the show did a great job at poking fun of Lisa’s character and her “wacky idea” of web therapy.
Fast forward 12 years after the show’s debut, and web therapy is now “a thing” thanks to telehealth technology. Yes, psychotherapy appointments can be held between therapist and patient while one is in one building, state, or country and the other is somewhere else entirely.
Why was web therapy a joke 12 years ago but telehealth is now gaining in popularity? The shift is most likely due to the growing popularity of tech solutions among younger generations. There’s also something very attractive about the ease of telehealth; of not having to leave your house or office to get the help you need.
As younger generations have become accustomed to using apps to have food, beer and groceries delivered right to their door, they expect these same conveniences from their health providers. While it may take a few more years before telehealth becomes truly mainstream, indicators suggest that push is more than likely to happen.
We’ve already discussed the most obvious benefit of telehealth to consumers, and that is ease. But what about the benefits to the therapists?
To start, telehealth means those people who would otherwise feel too uncomfortable seeking therapy in person will now be open to seeing a therapist “privately.” This means a therapist has a larger number of people to deliver their services to.
Also, since these services can be delivered from a home office, a therapist can easily reduce their practice’s operating costs and overhead expenses.
Many therapists are saying the adoption of telehealth should have come sooner, but support and guidance on telehealth are finally coming from the American Psychological Association (APA) and other psychological organizations.
You can’t expect a therapist who has been treating patients face-to-face for x number of years to suddenly do well sitting in front of their computer’s camera. There are some subtle but important differences in working with patients over electronic connections.
For instance, in person, when a therapist breaks eye contact with a patient to take down a few notes, there is still a connection there because they are still in the same physical space. But over the Internet, when a therapist looks away to take notes, it may seem to the patient that the client is distracted. Providers interested in offering telehealth services to their patients will have to keep things like this in mind and always assure they are paying attention.
The APA offers continuing-education workshops on telehealth at its Annual Convention, and several divisions have begun providing training in telehealth as well. Therapists can also find online courses and training offered by the American Telemedicine Association.
No one is laughing any longer at the idea of web therapy. Instead, both consumers and therapists are embracing technology to bring about positive change and outcomes.
References:
It is Social Work Month, and Social Workers across the nation are celebrating the theme for 2020, which is Generations Strong. Our nation’s more than 700,000 social workers each day meet people where they are and help them live to their fullest potential. Social workers from every generation-from the Silent Generation to Generation Z […]
It is Social Work Month, and Social Workers across the nation are celebrating the theme for 2020, which is Generations Strong. Our nation’s more than 700,000 social workers each day meet people where they are and help them live to their fullest potential. Social workers from every generation-from the Silent Generation to Generation Z – are shaping our society for the better. Social work is one of the fastest growing professions in the United States, with the number of people employed in social work to grow by 11 percent over the next decade, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Social work is a profession with expansive borders. You will find social workers everywhere in our society. In schools, in centers for veterans, in mental health and health care facilities, in corporations and in local, state and federal government to name a few. In fact, many people do not know social workers account for the largest group of mental health care providers in the United States or that the
Veterans Administration is the largest employer of social workers with master’s degrees.
At We Care Management, we not only employee Social Workers from various generations, our clients are from all generations. This is why, this year’s Social Work Month theme is so meaningful to us, Generations Strong. Everyone is touched by the various generations among us, whether the effects are positive or negative, and this is why, our Social Workers specialize in supporting our clients honor or heal the different situations they have experienced over the years and within a variety of relationships. Whether our client is a middle aged adult child of an aging parent, a young adult coping with the transition of parenthood, a teenager trying to find a college and career direction, or an elder experiencing a variety of losses, we support them in leading a life with more peace and joy.
As with most things in life, getting older comes with its good points and bad points. Speaking from a “glass is half full” point of view, getting older means having more confidence in who you are. It means enjoying retirement, traveling and getting a seat on a crowded bus or subway. But there is also […]
As with most things in life, getting older comes with its good points and bad points. Speaking from a “glass is half full” point of view, getting older means having more confidence in who you are. It means enjoying retirement, traveling and getting a seat on a crowded bus or subway.
But there is also another side of getting older, and that is one of loss: the loss of friends, loved ones, spouses, mobility, memories, hearing, eyesight and subsequent independence.
“Getting old is not for sissies.”
― Bette Davis
Boy was she right. While our Golden years can be rewarding, if we’re honest, they can also be beyond challenging. While it’s expected to feel sad about the amount of loss we experience in old age, some seniors experience a real sense of despair and hopelessness that turns into chronic depression.
It’s important to distinguish between sadness and depression. Sadness is a normal part of life. It’s important that we give ourselves space to grieve over the loss of loved ones.
But it’s equally important to recognize the symptoms of depression, so you or your senior loved one can seek the help they need. Here are some things to watch out for:
For most people, experiencing one of these at a time is not a real issue. The problems arise when two or more items on this list are experienced and persist for several weeks and even months.
There are some things seniors can do (and their loved ones can encourage them to do) that will help them deal with their depression.
Stay Active
Exercise is not only important to keep your body strong and prevent falls, but it’s also important to stabilize mood. As you may know when we exercise our bodies release feel-good endorphins. This can be a natural mood enhancer at any age. Tai chi is a fantastic exercise for seniors because it is incredibly gentle on the body.
Treat any Insomnia
Sometimes a lack of sleep can bring on depression. And as we age, we can develop sleep disturbances because of hormonal shifts and chronic pain. Also, here’s a bit of information from David N. Neubauer, M.D., author of Understanding Sleeplessness: Perspectives on Insomnia:
“As we age, we typically spend less time in the deepest levels of non-REM sleep (Stage 3 and Stage 4) and more time in the lighter levels. Consequently, older people often suffer from fragmented sleep, waking up more often during the night and early in the morning. In response to these changing sleep patterns, many [older] people develop poor sleep habits that compound the problem.”
So it’s important to go to bed at the same time every night, wake at the same time in the morning, and cut back on any caffeine.
Seek Help from a Trained Therapist
If these tips don’t alleviate the symptoms of depression, it really is important to get some help from a therapist, who will help you recognize the patterns of depression, can offer coping strategies, and can even prescribe medication should you require it.
If you or a loved one would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
References:
Are you acting as a caregiver to a loved one? Maybe your elderly parent or a spouse or child that is battling a serious illness? According to womenshealth.gov, 36% of Americans provided unpaid care to another adult with an illness or disability in 2012, and that number has almost certainly climbed as the baby boomer […]
Are you acting as a caregiver to a loved one? Maybe your elderly parent or a spouse or child that is battling a serious illness?
According to womenshealth.gov, 36% of Americans provided unpaid care to another adult with an illness or disability in 2012, and that number has almost certainly climbed as the baby boomer population continues to age.
Acting as a caregiver to another is definitely a labor of love, but it can also take a physical, mental and emotional toll on a person. When you focus all of your energy on the needs of other people, it is entirely too easy to put your own needs on the back burner.
Here are some of the most common signs of caregiver burnout:
With so many people relying on caregivers, it’s important that these people learn to take good care of themselves!
Here are some ways you can begin practicing self-care so you don’t experience burnout:
Get More Sleep
The quantity and quality of sleep you get each night will have a huge impact on how you feel physically, mentally and emotionally. Stress can make it hard for us to get good sleep, so don’t make it any harder.
Avoid caffeinated beverages after 2 pm as well as using any digital screens at night. The blue light emitted from these devices messes with our sleep cycle. You may also want to use room-darkening curtains to make your bedroom dark in the morning so you don’t awaken too early.
Get Plenty of Exercise
All of the stress, tension, and balled-up emotions need to go somewhere, or you’re likely to become sick yourself. Exercise is a great way to work all of this… “stuff” out of you. As a bonus, your body releases endorphins after a good workout, and these chemicals give your mood a nice boost.
Eat Right
Your instinct may be to reach for sugary comfort foods but you need to stay healthy and strong. Opt for protein and healthy fats along with some organic produce.
Ask for Help
While everyone around you may refer to you as “superhuman,” the truth is, you’re just human, and you can’t handle everything by yourself ALL of the time. Ask people to help you provide care once or twice a week so that you may have a little bit of time for yourself.
Talk to Someone
If you are dealing with your own depression and anxiety, it’s important that you speak with someone who can offer coping strategies.
If you or someone you know is a caregiver that could use someone to talk to, please feel free to be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
References:
Featured Guest Blog: Dr. Zachary White discusses The Challenges and Benefits of Explaining Yourself and Your Care Situation(s) to Family, Friends, and Health Professionals. As well as, how the Caregiver Transformation Retreat, facilitated by himself, Amanda LaRose, Donna Thomson and Aaron Blight will help address these caregiving challenges. When care meets love, everything […]
Featured Guest Blog:
Dr. Zachary White discusses The Challenges and Benefits of Explaining Yourself and Your Care Situation(s) to Family, Friends, and Health Professionals. As well as, how the Caregiver Transformation Retreat, facilitated by himself, Amanda LaRose, Donna Thomson and Aaron Blight will help address these caregiving challenges.
When care meets love, everything changes. Once you become a caregiver, your existing relationship with your loved one is both the same and different. Your relationship with your friends and family is both the same and different. And nearly everything you once took for granted—the parts of your life that made so much sense—may suddenly feel strange and unfamiliar, overwhelming and disorienting.
My own life experiences as a caregiver, my role as a professor of communication, and my academic research on caregiving across the life spectrum tell me that caregiving is not only about what you do with your loved one, but also how you begin making sense of what is happening to you and your loved one, and how you seek to share your care experiences with others.
Too often, we feel compelled to put on caregiver masks to “protect” our loved ones and save our precious emotional energy from others’ well intentioned but often disappointing responses. Over time, we may find ourselves simply giving people what we think they want to hear, creating feelings of aloneness and resentment.
Unless we give ourselves permission to meaningfully examine how our caregiver role and relationship impacts our beliefs, values, and ways of connecting with others, we will remain voiceless, adrift in other people’s clichés and assumptions. Too often, caregivers miss out on the opportunity to collaboratively engage others in the midst of their care experiences.
I am proud to be a part of the Caregiver Transformation Retreat because caregiving requires that we reorient ourselves to what is happening so we can begin reclaiming the meaning(s) of our care experiences in ways that work for us.
Together, at the Retreat, we will learn communication skills and strategies designed to help you communicate more effectively and authentically with audiences that matter to you.
Together, we will discuss new ways of of thinking about and sharing your experiences that more closely align with your lived experiences, care constraints, and emerging values and insights.
Together, we will practice how to explain difficult truths to family, friends, work colleagues, and providers.
Together, we will explore the value of sharing “good” news so that the full range of your everyday care experiences are identified, remembered, and valued, increasing the likelihood of ongoing caregiver self-compassion and resilience.
Together, we will enhance your connection literacy to help you better identify and receive the kinds of in-person and online support that are most useful and valuable to you throughout your care journey.
Whomever we are and wherever we are in our care journeys, we can only find ourselves when we hear ourselves, out loud, begin to integrate and communicate the parts of our care experiences that make us—us. It’s never too early or too late to begin this process . . .
Dr. Zachary White earned his Ph.D. in communication from Purdue University. He is an Associate Professor in the James L. Knight School of Communication at Queens University of Charlotte. His research and teaching explore a range of care experiences, including birth (parental NICU experiences), chronic caregiver experiences (spousal caregiving), and end-of-life caregiving. As an award winning university professor, Zachary teaches a variety of undergraduate and graduate courses addressing topics such as provider-patient communication, caregiver communication, the patient experience, health and illness narratives, digital health literacy, online social support, and sense making amidst life transitions. He is the co-author (with Donna Thomson) of The Unexpected Journey of Caring: The Transformation from Loved One to Caregiver (Rowman & Littlefield, 2019). He blogs at The Unprepared Caregiver (www.unpreparedcaregiver.com).
Someone slides into the parking spot you had your eye on. A coworker takes credit for your work. Your spouse runs up $200 on the credit card without discussing it first. These are things that are apt to make you angry. And that’s okay. Anger is a natural response to many life events. Like other […]
Someone slides into the parking spot you had your eye on. A coworker takes credit for your work. Your spouse runs up $200 on the credit card without discussing it first. These are things that are apt to make you angry.
And that’s okay.
Anger is a natural response to many life events. Like other emotions, anger helps us understand our world and how we feel about it. When managed well, anger can provide a healthy release and be a motivator for transformation. But when we experience too much anger, to the point of becoming out of control, it can have lasting ramifications.
When anger reaches a very high level, our pre-frontal cortex, that is the part of the brain responsible for cognitive thought and reasoning, becomes hijacked. The amygdala, our primal emotional/instinctual part of the brain that induces the “fight or flight” response, takes over and we are no longer capable of rational thought.
When aroused to anger, our brains can no longer take in new information. This means if our partner or loved one is trying to talk sense into us and explain something, we CANNOT hear them. All we are aware of is that we must defend ourselves as if our very life depends on it. We feel under extreme attack and are ready to fight back.
Now that you know how your brain responds, it’s time to learn some techniques to manage your extreme anger.
Take a Breather
You know that the hotter you get, the more your brain shuts down and becomes unable to process any information. There is no sense in you continuing to talk/argue with someone. Your best course of action is to put the fire out before it begins to rage by calling a time out and taking a breather.
Exercise
The body’s “fight or flight” response releases powerful hormones that are intended to help us fight or run. Without this physical release, they can linger in the body and cause health problems. Going for a walk, run or lifting weights can be a great way to burn through these hormones and release soothing endorphins.
Seek Out Counseling
Managing extreme anger can be very challenging, especially in the beginning. A mental health professional will be able to share coping strategies and techniques to control outbursts.
If you or someone you love has anger management issues and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
They say that with age comes wisdom, and for some, that may be true. But with age also comes some very big challenges. In addition to dealing with the onset of disease and physical disabilities, older people must face loss: the loss of a spouse, loss of friends, loss of siblings, and even the loss […]
They say that with age comes wisdom, and for some, that may be true. But with age also comes some very big challenges. In addition to dealing with the onset of disease and physical disabilities, older people must face loss: the loss of a spouse, loss of friends, loss of siblings, and even the loss of memories.
“Getting old is not for sissies.” – Bette Davis
When you consider all of this loss, it’s not surprising that aging and depression often go hand-in-hand. While feeling sadness over these losses is a normal part of life, some people experience profound depression.
But, if earlier in your life you never really experienced depression, how do you know the difference between it and sadness? Here are some signs of depression:
At some time in our lives, most of us have experienced one or two of these symptoms. But when you experience more than one or two at a time, and these feelings linger and deepen, that is a clear indicator of depression.
Beating Depression Will Require Trust
When someone who has faced so much loss becomes depressed, what can they do to feel better? The answer to that question is to seek the help of a therapist who can help you navigate your emotions, offer tools for mood management and even prescribe medications if they feel it will help.
But there lies the conundrum.
Those suffering from depression often feel helpless, that is to say, they feel they are beyond being helped. When a person feels that no one and nothing can help them, they will not seek help and refuse it when it is offered. In fact, some depressed people even become angered when loved ones try to help.
This is when trust becomes a vital component to getting well. Older people have spent a lifetime forming relationships with family and friends. They know the connection and love is genuine. Therefor they must trust that when a loved one comes to them and says, “I love you and I’m concerned. I think you’re depressed and you need some help…” they recognize they are coming from a loving place and trust they want what’s best for them.
If you yourself have tried to help an older loved one but they refuse to listen, consider having someone else they might trust even more speak with them. This could be an old colleague, their doctor, or your local pastor. And sometimes you may just have to get a group together and have an intervention.
If you or a loved one is suffering from depression, you can feel better. You can remember that life is worth living, even while feeling so much pain and sorrow. If you would like to explore treatment options, please contact me. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may help.
