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People use different coping strategies when dealing with stress and other overwhelming emotions. Some people use substances such as drugs and alcohol, some smoke cigarettes, and some charge a lot of money to their credit card. And then there are those people who take comfort in their favorite foods. Emotional eating often leads to weight […]
People use different coping strategies when dealing with stress and other overwhelming emotions. Some people use substances such as drugs and alcohol, some smoke cigarettes, and some charge a lot of money to their credit card. And then there are those people who take comfort in their favorite foods.
Emotional eating often leads to weight gain and the development of health issues such as type two diabetes and high blood pressure. If left unchecked, emotional eating can lead to a life-long reliance on eating as a coping mechanism.
If you or someone you love is an emotional eater, becoming more mindful of eating is how you can manage your food issues. Here are some ways to become a more mindful eater:
Most emotional eaters are completely unaware of the kind or amount of food they eat on a daily or weekly basis. It’s important to start tracking what you consume as well as how much so you can recognize the real issue you may be having. This is not an exercise in harshly judging yourself, it’s simply so you can recognize the link between your emotions and eating habits.
For instance, you may see that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty okay days, but Thursday was when you got yelled at while you were at work and also got a speeding ticket, and ALSO ate fast food for lunch and dinner and ate almost a gallon of ice cream. Once you see this pattern over and over, that you tend to eat on those days you are stressed, angry, sad, etc., you will be able to start making positive changes.
When we eat emotionally, we don’t stop to think about the amount of food we are eating, we just shove it in as quickly as possible so those carbs can start making us feel better. The next time you find yourself eating based on your emotions, try and catch yourself and meter out a fair-sized portion. For instance, don’t sit in front of the TV with an entire bag of potato chips, take out a small bowl’s worth and put the rest away.
When we are alone, we can eat with abandon. But when we eat with others, we tend to have more awareness about what and how much we put in our mouths. When your day is stressful, instead of going out to lunch by yourself, where you’re apt to hit 2-3 drive-throughs, invite some other people out. This may help you to use more self-control.
These are just a few of the ways you can begin to recognize your emotional eating and gain control over your food choices. If you would like to speak to someone about the emotions you are dealing with and learn healthier coping strategies, please be in touch. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
There are plenty of things that occur in our daily lives that cause us stress: commuter traffic, hassles at work, and tension in our personal relationships to name just a few. If we don’t find healthy ways to deal with this stress, it can fester, eventually causing anxiety, depression, and even health issues such as […]
There are plenty of things that occur in our daily lives that cause us stress: commuter traffic, hassles at work, and tension in our personal relationships to name just a few. If we don’t find healthy ways to deal with this stress, it can fester, eventually causing anxiety, depression, and even health issues such as hypertension and heart disease.
One of the best ways to beat stress is through mindfulness meditation. This practice helps train you to keep your attention “in the now.” By training your mind to stay in the present moment, you stop it from ruminating on all of the things that bring you stress. While it can be challenging in the beginning, many practitioners of meditation receive amazing benefits:
If you’re someone who suffers from a lack of sleep, you know how it can affect your mood and ability to focus clearly. Research has found that in adults diagnosed with sleep disturbances, meditation improves the quality of sleep obtained each night.
Studies have also found that mindfulness meditation can reduce the cortisol levels produced in the body. Cortisol is a stress hormone. When levels of cortisol remain high, it can negatively impact your health.
Many older adults experience loneliness and isolation due to the loss of their spouse combined with an inability to lead an independent social life. One study found that an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program decreased loneliness and related pro-inflammatory gene expression in seniors.
These are only a handful of the many benefits of practicing meditation.
Starting a meditation practice does not have to feel overwhelming and it doesn’t require you to make big lifestyle changes. It simply requires you to dedicate 10-20 minutes each day in your practice.
You may want to look for group meditation classes in your local area to get a feel for how it works. There are also plenty of guided meditations online to choose from.
The biggest thing to remember is that it is called a meditation practice for a reason: you won’t get it “right” right out of the gate. And truthfully, there is no right or wrong. There is only a desire and intent to let go of the chatter in your mind and focus on the present moment. That’s it. Once you get the hang of things, you too can experience some amazing benefits.
Dating. It’s not easy at any age, but it can be downright tough for those in the 60+ category. The world has most likely changed significantly since the last time you may have dated. You yourself have also changed. Love, loss, careers, raising a family, etc. have all impacted who you are and how you […]
Dating. It’s not easy at any age, but it can be downright tough for those in the 60+ category. The world has most likely changed significantly since the last time you may have dated. You yourself have also changed. Love, loss, careers, raising a family, etc. have all impacted who you are and how you feel about life and the world around you.
While it may feel intimidating at first, dating after the age of 60 can actually be a lot of fun. It will require you to perhaps adjust your mindset and find some courage, but once you put yourself out there, you might be surprised just how easy it is to connect with others in both platonic and romantic ways.
Here are some dating tips to get you started:
Many people, as they get older, smile less. Perhaps they are missing loved ones who have passed, are struggling with retirement, or are in chronic physical pain. But smiling is something that lights up our faces and instantly attracts other people to us. If you feel you haven’t been smiling as much as you used to, get back into the habit. Watch some favorite comedies, hang out with your grandkids more often and play with the neighbor’s dog. The more you smile, the better you feel and more attractive you become.
Now is not the time to be shy. If you see someone that catches your eye while out at a coffee shop or standing in line at the grocery store, strike up a conversation. You could say something as simple as, “Are the bagels good here” or “I always seem to pick the busiest times to shop.” The idea is to simply start a conversation and see where it goes. If nothing else, you may make some new coffee shop friends!
You’ll have a better chance of meeting a potential partner who is like-minded if you focus on your interests and hobbies. If you like art and culture, then spend more time at museums or the bookstore. Are you a dog nut? Then perhaps volunteer at a local animal shelter. Focusing on your own hobbies and interests will bring you joy at the same time, and that joy will make you incredibly attractive to others.
Sites like Match.com and EHarmony.com make it incredibly easy for you to look for potential dates online. You can browse hundreds of profiles at your own pace and reach out to those people who strike your fancy. Don’t assume that online dating is for younger people. It’s for anyone with an internet connection and a desire to meet people.
If you follow these tips, you’ll have no problem meeting new and wonderful people. And who knows, one of them could be that special someone.
Cognitive therapy has been shown over the years to be incredibly effective at helping people recognize and change their behaviors. But, as much potential as therapy has for every individual, some people seem to have success with therapy while others don’t. Some of this stems from what the individuals’ expectations were going into therapy, some […]
Cognitive therapy has been shown over the years to be incredibly effective at helping people recognize and change their behaviors. But, as much potential as therapy has for every individual, some people seem to have success with therapy while others don’t.
Some of this stems from what the individuals’ expectations were going into therapy, some from how much effort they gave, and some from whether or not there was a good personality fit between patient and therapist.
If you’re thinking of exploring therapy and want to ensure your journey is successful, here are some things to keep in mind:
The American Psychological Association defines an evidence-based practitioner as someone who integrates their (1) clinical expertise with (2) available/relevant psychological science and (3a) the client’s values and (3b) cultural context to guide the intervention. This means your therapist should be using proven techniques in a way that jive with your values, preferences, and needs. It’s not about them and what they bring to the table, it’s about what they have to offer and how they can offer it so you might be positively impacted.
It’s important to shop around to find the right therapist for you. Ideally, you want someone who you feel comfortable opening up to and someone you trust to listen and offer guidance. You also want to know your therapist is competent and has your best interests at heart. And finally, you’ll want to have open communication so you can always be sure you are on the same page as far as your “story” and how well the interventions are working.
We live in an instant gratification society. We want what we want and we want it NOW. In many instances, we can get what we want quickly. But this isn’t true for real change.
For therapy to be successful, you MUST be realistic about the process. It is not linear, and it is not quick. This is particularly true if you are dealing with complex, long-term problems. This doesn’t mean you can expect to be in therapy for the rest of your life or even many, many years. It simply means you must appreciate the reality of what you can expect and how quickly.
If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Cognitive therapy has been shown over the years to be incredibly effective at helping people recognize and change their behaviors. But, as much potential as therapy has for every individual, some people seem to have success with therapy while others don’t. Some of this stems from what the individuals’ expectations were going into therapy, some […]
Cognitive therapy has been shown over the years to be incredibly effective at helping people recognize and change their behaviors. But, as much potential as therapy has for every individual, some people seem to have success with therapy while others don’t.
Some of this stems from what the individuals’ expectations were going into therapy, some from how much effort they gave, and some from whether or not there was a good personality fit between patient and therapist.
If you’re thinking of exploring therapy and want to ensure your journey is successful, here are some things to keep in mind:
The American Psychological Association defines an evidence-based practitioner as someone who integrates their (1) clinical expertise with (2) available/relevant psychological science and (3a) the client’s values and (3b) cultural context to guide the intervention. This means your therapist should be using proven techniques in a way that jive with your values, preferences, and needs. It’s not about them and what they bring to the table, it’s about what they have to offer and how they can offer it so you might be positively impacted.
It’s important to shop around to find the right therapist for you. Ideally, you want someone who you feel comfortable opening up to and someone you trust to listen and offer guidance. You also want to know your therapist is competent and has your best interests at heart. And finally, you’ll want to have open communication so you can always be sure you are on the same page as far as your “story” and how well the interventions are working.
We live in an instant gratification society. We want what we want and we want it NOW. In many instances, we can get what we want quickly. But this isn’t true for real change.
For therapy to be successful, you MUST be realistic about the process. It is not linear, and it is not quick. This is particularly true if you are dealing with complex, long-term problems. This doesn’t mean you can expect to be in therapy for the rest of your life or even many, many years. It simply means you must appreciate the reality of what you can expect and how quickly.
If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
All of us have been transformed by caregiving. Now we have an opportunity to go deeper, to share our hard-earned wisdom and to map out a new way of practical caring without desperation or burnout. And the best way to achieve this new perspective is face to face, together with others who understand – in […]
All of us have been transformed by caregiving. Now we have an opportunity to go deeper, to share our hard-earned wisdom and to map out a new way of practical caring without desperation or burnout. And the best way to achieve this new perspective is face to face, together with others who understand – in The Caregiving Transformation Retreat.
My life of caregiving began in 1988 when our son Nicholas was born with severe cerebral palsy. During the first years of his life, Nick was often ill and in pain. They were sleepless years, infused with desperate worry. Of course, all this happened before the internet became a lifeline for caregiver support. What we did have though, were parent retreats, sponsored by our local Easter Seal Society.
Those parent retreats were my annual opportunity to learn about new therapies, strategize about the sibling experience and compare notes about ways and means of keeping my marriage intact. But perhaps the best thing about the retreats was the bonding with other parents. Here suddenly, were others who understood. And there were older, wiser parents who took on a natural mentoring role. There was a palpable sense of safety and soothing in those retreats. We all felt it.
Fast forward to 2016. My sister Karen and I found ourselves in the thick of caring for our Mom, a loving but willful 94 year old with dementia. Mom was in denial about her needs and living independently with insufficient support. “Muddling through” was a good descriptor for how we were doing. When we could, my sister and I retreated to our family cabin by the lake. On forest walks, we wondered what might happen if Mom broke one more rule. We laughed at the outrageous imaginings of telling Mom what we really thought about her bad behavior. At the end of the weekend, we went back to being good daughters, diffusing crises and brokering deals to ensure Mom’s stability for another week or month.
Looking back on the caregiving retreats in my life, I feel deeply grateful. I appreciate the cyber friendships of other caregivers, but the face-to-face retreats have been something very special to me. They were energizing, hopeful, knowledge-filled and inspiring. In short, they were transformational.
Now, together with Aaron Blight, Zachary White and Amanda LaRose,
I am honoured and excited to be a co-creator of the new Caregiver Transformational Retreat. Our team has come together with a clear vision of what is helpful to caregivers, wherever they are in their journey of caring. Our retreat is tailored to every group we serve, whether participants are medical professionals or family caregivers. Resilience, personal transformation and a changed perspective on the well of human kindness are the by-products of our retreats. Participants will leave energized, with a new sense of purpose and fulfillment in their caring roles – outcomes only achievable in the magical moments of face to face retreats. –Written By Donna Thomson
As you visit loved ones during the holidays, keep an eye open for statements, behaviors, and signs of the following things that can show some time of emotional disturbance is happening for them.
As you visit loved ones during the holidays, keep an eye open for statements, behaviors, and signs of the following things that can show some time of emotional disturbance is happening for them. Feelings of panic, fear, and worry. Not being able to be still and calm. Feelings and statements of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness. Are they having angry outbursts, irritability or frustration which is out of the norm for them? Perhaps they are showing a loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities. They may be expressing feelings of worthlessness or guilt. These are signs of emotional disturbance and can be helped by a professional. Get in touch with us today for Counseling Services which are covered under most insurances.
Most of us from a young age are taught how to be kind, considerate and compassionate toward others. But rarely are we told to show the same consideration to ourselves. This becomes even more true for individuals brought up in abusive or unloving homes. What is Self-Compassion? Self-compassion is taken from Buddhist psychology and refers […]
Most of us from a young age are taught how to be kind, considerate and compassionate toward others. But rarely are we told to show the same consideration to ourselves. This becomes even more true for individuals brought up in abusive or unloving homes.
Self-compassion is taken from Buddhist psychology and refers to how we can relate to the self with kindness. Self-compassion or self-love is NOT to be confused with arrogance or selfishness. In actuality, arrogance and selfishness stem from the absence of self-love.
But what does it really mean to be kind with ourselves? It means that on a day-to-day basis we are mindful of being courteous, supportive and compassionate with ourselves. Too many individuals treat themselves with harsh judgement instead of compassion.
Why is this important? Because self-compassion helps us recognize our unconditional worth and value. It allows us to recognize though we my sometimes make bad decisions, we’re not bad people.
Research, over the past decade, has shown the parallel between self care and psychological wellbeing. Those who recognize self-compassion also tend to have better connections with others, are reportedly happier with their own lives, and have a higher satisfaction with life overall. Self-compassion also correlates with less shame, anxiety and depression.
Now that you know the what and why of self-compassion, let’s look at the how.
Treat Yourself as You Would a Small Child
You would never harshly judge or belittle a small child the way you do yourself. You would only want to help and love that child. When you begin to treat yourself as you would a small child, you begin to show yourself the same love, gentleness and kindness.
Practice Mindfulness
Every minute your mind is handling millions of bits of information, though you consciously are only aware of a few of them. This is to say we all have scripts or programs running in our minds 24/7. These scripts and programs are running our lives, insisting we have certain behaviors and make certain decisions.
Some of these scripts are the ones that tell us how “bad” or “unlovable” we are. They’ve been running since we were kids. The way to quiet these scripts is to become more mindful of your own mind.
When you begin to have a feeling or reaction to something, stop and ask yourself WHO is feeling that? Is it the compassionate self or the program running? If it’s the program, thank the program for what it has done and release it.
Good Will vs Good Feelings
Self-compassion is a conscious act of kindness we show ourselves; it’s not a way to alleviate emotional pain. Life happens, and we can’t always avoid negative or sad feelings. Never mistake self-compassion as a tool to ignore your deep and rich emotional life.
These are just a few ways you can begin to cultivate self-compassion. If you’d like to explore more options or talk to someone about your feelings of self-rejection and judgement, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how cognitive therapy may help.
Is there a behavior or habit you’ve been trying to change or eliminate but you haven’t had any success? Do you wonder if hypnotherapy may be right for you? A lot of people are intrigued but confused by hypnotherapy, and can you blame them? Most only know the concept from seeing a video of someone […]
Is there a behavior or habit you’ve been trying to change or eliminate but you haven’t had any success? Do you wonder if hypnotherapy may be right for you?
A lot of people are intrigued but confused by hypnotherapy, and can you blame them? Most only know the concept from seeing a video of someone making an audience member cluck like a chicken!
Hypnotherapy is guided hypnosis performed by a specially trained professional. Some therapists utilize this method to help their clients relax and enter into a dream-like state of targeted concentration.
Think of the times you have been thoroughly engrossed in a book, movie or meditation. When we reach this kind of focus, we can tap into our inner resources to bring about positive and lasting changes.
Hypnotherapy is a complementary treatment to traditional psychotherapy and is often used in the treatment of phobias, anxiety, bad habits, undesirable behaviors and substance addiction. Hypnotherapy can also be used to improve sleep, help learning disorders and assist in pain management.
Hypnotherapy is typically performed in a relaxed and peaceful environment. Your therapist will begin by guiding you into a calm and focused state. Once there, you will be asked to think about specific circumstances and life experiences in positive ways that can help you begin to think and act differently in your everyday life.
Despite what you may have seen in TV and films, you will not be put into an entirely unconscious or sleeping state, or in any way vulnerable or not in control of your actions. Rather you will hear their verbal suggestions, and then you and you alone will decide whether or not to act on them.
Finding the right hypnotherapist is a personal journey and there are some things to look for. To start, he or she should be a member of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH) or the Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. Members of these groups are required to obtain a doctoral level degree in medicine, dentistry, or psychology, or a master’s degree in nursing, social work, psychology, or marital/family therapy plus a specific number of hours of approved training in hypnotherapy.
Beyond credentials, you should also look for a therapist you feel comfortable with. This may mean you get on the phone first to get a feel for the therapist. He or she should be open to answering any questions you may have about their process.
If you or someone you know is interested in exploring hypnotherapy, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
If you’re an adult struggling to cope with ADHD, everyday life can present you with various challenges. You may have difficulty managing work and personal relationships, meeting demands at work and at home, as well as taking care of your own health and well-being. If you’re in need of some tips to help […]
If you’re an adult struggling to cope with ADHD, everyday life can present you with various challenges. You may have difficulty managing work and personal relationships, meeting demands at work and at home, as well as taking care of your own health and well-being. If you’re in need of some tips to help you manage daily life with your ADHD, below are five strategies you can start using today.
1. Watch the Clock
Becoming more mindful of the time will help immensely in managing your day-to-day symptoms. When you start tasks or chores, make note of the time; write it down or say it aloud if needed. You can also stay aware of the time by always wearing a wristwatch. Take note of areas in your home where you may spend a lot of time without realizing it, such as your garage, bathroom, or living room. Instead of relying on small appliance clocks that are easy to ignore (such as on the microwave or the cable box), buy a large wall clock and place it in a highly visible location.
2. Use Timers and Reminders
Use your smart phone to set timers when you start tasks. You can also use your smart phone to set reminders to yourself.
3. Make a Priority List
Keep a list handy for tasks and chores, and be sure to list them by priority: the most important things get done first. For lower priority tasks, schedule to do them after your higher priority tasks are complete. Set a reminder to review your priority list each morning, before you check voicemail or email. When you receive tasks from others, schedule them right away according to your priority list, rather than theirs.
4. Remove or Manage Time Sinks
If you find yourself checking email, news/gossip sites, blogs, or social media too frequently, uninstall or move app shortcuts around to make them harder to access. For websites or computer games/applications, delete shortcuts or bury the shortcut in a folder so it’s more difficult to get to.
5. Give Yourself Extra Time
When figuring how long it will take to complete a task, add 10 minutes on to the time to allow yourself extra time to get things done. Plan to arrive at work and other functions 10 to 15 minutes earlier to avoid being late.
Although there’s no cure for ADHD, there are many things you can do to manage it. By developing healthy habits, you’ll find that handling daily challenges will become second nature.
For additional help, you can find many resources (such as articles, apps, podcasts, and webinars) to help you manage your ADHD at www.ADDitudemag.com, and at add.org/resources.
If you’re having trouble managing your ADHD and would like some guidance from a licensed, trained professional, call my office today so we can set up an appointment to talk.
