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For many of us, spending time with family can be a grab bag of emotions. While you may feel love and familiarity, there’s also decades-long dynamics between you and your family members that may not be the most healthy. Your family might treat you like the teenager they remember, and you might revert to that […]
For many of us, spending time with family can be a grab bag of emotions. While you may feel love and familiarity, there’s also decades-long dynamics between you and your family members that may not be the most healthy. Your family might treat you like the teenager they remember, and you might revert to that role when you’re around your family without even realizing it.
There could be many things that make spending time with family a challenge. Old family conflicts, harbored resentments, and spoken or unspoken disagreements can make you dread seeing them again. If you have trouble managing your anger when you’re around your family, read on for some tips on how to keep your cool.
Define How You Experience Anger
People experience anger differently. Some might get more aggressive, some might withdraw, and some internalize the anger. By being aware of how you experience anger, you can better recognize when that emotion is starting to develop inside you so you can take control of how you respond.
Rehearse Responses
It’s very common for family to ask intrusive or inappropriate questions. You might have a busybody aunt who always asks about your relationships, or maybe your sister is constantly bugging you about starting a family. Come prepared with rehearsed responses so you won’t be caught off guard.
Set Boundaries
It’s important to set boundaries with family. If a family member is aggressive or rude to you, or is always making you the butt of their jokes, your silence acts as approval of their behavior. Because you don’t protest, they think what they’re saying or doing is fine with you. Furthermore, pretending their bad behavior is acceptable only gives them more room to continue the bad behavior, or to get worse. Set boundaries with family and let them know when things they’re saying or doing is not okay with you.
Cut the Visit Short
Sometimes the best option to keep the family peace (and your sanity) is to spend less time. If your family tends to have snacks or drinks before dinner, show up just in time to join the family for dinner at the table. You can also opt to skip dessert or coffee and leave a bit early.
Family relationships are complex and deep-rooted, and family are often the ones who know best how to push your buttons. While managing your anger can be challenging, learning to maintain control over your emotions is a healthy act of self-love. It will not only keep you sane, but it will keep your family relationships unharmed and intact.
If you’re having difficulty navigating complicated family relationships, a licensed therapist can help. Give my office a call today and let’s schedule a time to talk.
Someone slides into the parking spot you had your eye on. A coworker takes credit for your work. Your spouse runs up $200 on the credit card without discussing it first. These are things that are apt to make you angry. And that’s okay. Anger is a natural response to many life events. Like other […]
Someone slides into the parking spot you had your eye on. A coworker takes credit for your work. Your spouse runs up $200 on the credit card without discussing it first. These are things that are apt to make you angry.
And that’s okay.
Anger is a natural response to many life events. Like other emotions, anger helps us understand our world and how we feel about it. When managed well, anger can provide a healthy release and be a motivator for transformation. But when we experience too much anger, to the point of becoming out of control, it can have lasting ramifications.
When anger reaches a very high level, our pre-frontal cortex, that is the part of the brain responsible for cognitive thought and reasoning, becomes hijacked. The amygdala, our primal emotional/instinctual part of the brain that induces the “fight or flight” response, takes over and we are no longer capable of rational thought.
When aroused to anger, our brains can no longer take in new information. This means if our partner or loved one is trying to talk sense into us and explain something, we CANNOT hear them. All we are aware of is that we must defend ourselves as if our very life depends on it. We feel under extreme attack and are ready to fight back.
Now that you know how your brain responds, it’s time to learn some techniques to manage your extreme anger.
Take a Breather
You know that the hotter you get, the more your brain shuts down and becomes unable to process any information. There is no sense in you continuing to talk/argue with someone. Your best course of action is to put the fire out before it begins to rage by calling a time out and taking a breather.
Exercise
The body’s “fight or flight” response releases powerful hormones that are intended to help us fight or run. Without this physical release, they can linger in the body and cause health problems. Going for a walk, run or lifting weights can be a great way to burn through these hormones and release soothing endorphins.
Seek Out Counseling
Managing extreme anger can be very challenging, especially in the beginning. A mental health professional will be able to share coping strategies and techniques to control outbursts.
If you or someone you love has anger management issues and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
As you visit loved ones during the holidays, keep an eye open for statements, behaviors, and signs of the following things that can show some time of emotional disturbance is happening for them.
As you visit loved ones during the holidays, keep an eye open for statements, behaviors, and signs of the following things that can show some time of emotional disturbance is happening for them. Feelings of panic, fear, and worry. Not being able to be still and calm. Feelings and statements of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness. Are they having angry outbursts, irritability or frustration which is out of the norm for them? Perhaps they are showing a loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities. They may be expressing feelings of worthlessness or guilt. These are signs of emotional disturbance and can be helped by a professional. Get in touch with us today for Counseling Services which are covered under most insurances.
You’re getting sleepy… very sleepy… …and when you wake up you will cluck like a chicken. This is what many people think of when they think of hypnosis. But hypnosis is much more than a funny party trick. Hypnotherapy has been used for centuries. In fact, in ancient times priests and shamans used altered stated […]
You’re getting sleepy… very sleepy…
…and when you wake up you will cluck like a chicken.
This is what many people think of when they think of hypnosis. But hypnosis is much more than a funny party trick.
Hypnotherapy has been used for centuries. In fact, in ancient times priests and shamans used altered stated of consciousness as a way to bring about healing. Today, therapists use guided hypnosis, or a trance-like state, to help their clients make changes or regain control in certain areas of their life.
How Hypnosis Works
Hypnotherapy is used to treat everything from substance abuse, phobias, anxiety disorders and sexual dysfunction. It is also used for pain management.
The therapist first guides their client into a calm and relaxed state. The client is awake the entire time, simply very relaxed. This relaxed state allows the client to access and “speak” directly with their subconscious mind, the part of the mind that controls most of our habits and behavior.
When a relaxed state is reached, the therapist will assist the client in thinking about experiences and situations in positive ways. This is essentially feeding the subconscious new information that will help the client begin to experience new patterns of thought and behavior.
Finding the Right Therapist
Not all therapists are qualified to use hypnosis as an adjunct therapy. If you believe hypnosis could help you with a particular problem or issue you are having, look for a hypnotherapist who’s a member of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH) or the Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.
Beyond qualifications, it’s also very important to find a hypnotherapist with whom you feel comfortable with. It’s a good idea to speak with each therapist on the phone before committing to a session. This will help you get a sense of their personality and whether they might be a good fit.
Final Thoughts
Hypnosis can work for just about anyone, as long as they are open to the idea and have chosen a therapist they trust. Roughly 70% of the population is open to suggestion and can benefit from hypnosis. Young children are particularly good candidates.
If you or someone you know has tried other forms of therapy without success and are interested in hypnosis, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help you.
